The Fairest Thing Chapter 1
Chapter 1 Oh, do not tell the Priest our plight Or he would call it a sin; But we have been out in the woods all night A-conjuring Summer in And we bring you news by word of mouth Good news for cattle and corn Now is the Sun come up from the South With Oak, and Ash, and Thorn! ''-A Tree Song, By Rudyard Kipling'' It was Midsummer Eve when the plan was hatched. Maenad took advantage of the long days of summer to roam the countryside around the Castle and Smurf village like she had been accustomed to for years. She did like civilized life in the court of King Pepin of Hauvon, and as Princess Sabina's Latin tutor, but she had spent far more of her long life as a werewolf than as a human, and wild places called to her. Occasionally she would invite her human friends along - Johan, Peewit, and the Princess, but this time she wished to visit the Smurfs alone. High Summer was a holiday for otherworldly creatures, wizards and magic-workers of all sorts. The Smurfs typically visited the wizard Homnibus, and they had agreed to let her come along. Business in the castle was not very interesting to her anyway. While acting as temporary regent for the King while he recovered from an attempted assignation, King Gerard had introduced a plan to turn the aging church in his kingdom into a full cathedral after visiting Princess Francesca, his betrothed. He saw a newly-built cathedral in her city filled with glass and colored light. He was busy finding artists and craftsmen to have one for his own people to enjoy. While Gerard made his plans, preparations were being made for Sabina's wedding the following spring. Arranged more for politics than romantic attraction, it would nonetheless be a huge festival and formal event. The princess was not looking forward to it, to say the least. Coming in just two weeks was a ceremony called an "adoubement" in which Johan would be made a knight in recognition of his recent heroic deeds. She had helped with those deeds, but she had been in wolf form, and few knew about that. Maenad preferred things that way. In the seven hundred years she had been a werewolf she had learned that humans never liked having an intelligent, magical predator hidden among them. That most werewolves were bloodthirsty mercenaries didn't help their species' reputation. Maenad tried to work up excitement for her friends' plans and it was interesting to learn about these humans' ceremonies…at first. But most of the adoubment sounded very boring and would take place in a church, and she was always nervous that one of the holy men might call her out as a demon, monster or worse. The Smurfs had brought presents and food to celebrate Midsummer, and Homnibus had a cask of mead saved for the occasion. They ate, drank and had a merry time. Maenad told them about how an adoubement went (as she understood it.) The Smurfs were interested in every detail, and Homnibus was pleased his friend Johan was getting the recognition he deserved. "The King wants to give me the honor of presenting Johan with his sword at this thing. I tried to convince him Sabina should do it being, higher ranking and all, but he insisted. I have no idea what to do and I don't want Dame Barbara to have to teach me." "I think you'd do a Smurfy job, Drusillia," said Smurfette, using the Maenad's birth name. "I can't wait to see!" "Hmph. Smurfy job or not, I don't want to do it. I don't like being in churches. Not since I got driven out of a Merovingian chapel by one of their idiot priests. I had to go into hiding for ten years after that. The priest told his lord, who tried to hunt me down and hang my head on his wall. My eyes give me away. They're the one thing about me that won't change back to human. If they could go back to brown like they used to be, it wouldn't be such a problem." Papa Smurf looked thoughtful as he played chess with Homnibus. "I seem to recall learning spells from the Fair Folk that let one make minor changes to one's appearance. They call such spells glamour. Maybe…" "It's a bad idea, Papa Smurf," said Homnibus, taking his turn. "When those items get into the hands of humans, they cause all sorts of trouble. Remember the flute with six holes and how innocent it seemed until it fell into human hands? No, humans don't need the ability to change their appearance at will." "But I'm not a human, and you don't want me acting like a werewolf. The only real alternative I have is to pass as human. Besides, it would make Johan and the King happy if I went through with this sword presentation business." Homnibus looked at Papa skeptically. "Please?" "You have to promise that this spell will not leave your hands." "As if I'd give away something that will make my life easier!" After more discussion, Homnibus finally agreed to make a simple glamour spell for Maenad. It would only make minor changes to her current form, not allow her to masquerade as someone else. At least if it worked like it was supposed to. Glamour magic was often unpredictable, especially in the hands of non-fey as more than wizard learned the hard way. Papa Smurf gathered components from the larder while Homnibus looked up an appropriate spell in one of his many books. "I will need something to hold the spell itself, Drusillia, something you can take off when you don't want the glamour to take effect." "Here, have this." Maenad took off the signet ring she wore, the one she had taken from the traitorous Prince Lothar. The two wizards began constructing the spell. "You said you wanted your eyes to be brown again, is that right Drusillia?" "Can they be any color?" "…yes?" "If it's all the same, make them sky blue. And can you make me tall? I'm the second shortest person in the castle besides Peewit. I could blend in more easily if I were maybe…a foot taller?" "…all right…." "Can you increase my uh, female assets?" "Now you're just getting greedy! We're making you a normal-looking human, not a strumpet!" "Oh, come now. If I wanted a lecture about modesty, I'd have stayed back at the castle. I gave you my only ring; I should have some say in this." Before long, the ring-spell was completed. Maenad slid the ring on her finger. She felt the tingle of magic come upon her, though it did not feel the same as the magic that allowed her to shapeshift. She did not actually become a taller, bustier, blue eyed woman, but one glance in a mirror showed that she appeared to have changed into a tall blue-eyed beauty with an hourglass figure. She thanked Papa Smurf and Homnibus for the spell and vowed to return the favor. As the sun was finally setting, the Smurfs chose to leave for their village. Maenad left with them, but after parting ways with them she did not return to the castle. She shifted to wolf form, and roamed around the forest. Years of living as a wolf had made her primarily nocturnal, and it was too lovely a night to spend cooped up in a keep full of noisy humans and their smells. "Well, who's that shaggy black direwolf pretending to be a sleek grey wolf?" a voice from the brush asked in an old, lilting language. Maenad shifted to human form. Apparently the spell worked on her as a wolf, too. Interesting. "Gemon. It's been a while." A short man with a flat broad nose, curling horns, and shaggy goat's legs seemed to materialize out of the forest. "Looks like someone's cast the glamor on you, Child of Lykaon." "That's none of your business, and I'm no child of his" she told the faun. "What do you want? You can't tell me you 'just happened' to stumble across me." "I was wondering if you wanted to come celebrate High Summer with us, Drusillia. You started calling yourself a Maenad, might as well live like it, eh?" Gemon knew Maenad's people back when she was human and sought her out as soon as word spread about her existence. As the only priestess of Bacchus left alive, she had become something of an honored guest among certain circles of forest spirits. While the two made their way to the designated grove, Gemon caught Maenad up on goings on among the local spirits and their interactions with humans. "That reminds me, do you know any of those who dwell under the hills?" Maenad used the euphemism for the ancient artificially-made dolmens that dotted the countryside. "Not many, but I've run into a few. Strange group these native spirits are. Tricksters, mostly. Never accept any gift from them, and whatever you do, never thank them for anything." "Tricksters? That's a good one, coming from one who harasses nymphs and human females all day. Speaking of which, do you know any of the fair folk who took a blonde human as a wife? I know someone who thinks he may be related to one of them. It would have been about seventeen or eighteen years ago." "Not off the top of my head, but I can check. As a favor to you." Next chapter Category:The Fairest Thing chapters Category:THDG's articles Category:Hauvon Expanded Universe stories